Letter to a Naughty Sweater

Dear Vivian,
First, I’d like to thank you for giving me something to write about. It’s been quite some time since I visited my blog, and now, you’ve caused me to return to the fold. Well done you. I believe it was The Yarn Harlot who at some point said of her own blog, “The only thing that keeps this interesting is my uncanny ability to make massive mistakes” – or something of that sort. Vivian, you are currently that massive mistake.

I know what you’re thinking – but Hester, things were going so well when you put me into hibernation for the winter. You had gotten the arms attached, only having to rip back once to adjust their placement since the pattern wanted you to armholes in spaces that would have cut the cables in half and didn’t really make a ton of sense. And you’re on the decreases, which attaches the arms to the sweater – Hester, this is the good part!

I know, Vivian, I know. The trouble is, your decreases aren’t really making a ton of sense to me either. It wasn’t just the armhole placement and the arms themselves. This entire issue of trying to cleanly attach the arms to you is driving me bananas. And as usual, Ravelry has failed to provide even one other person that is saying, “Um guys…does this make sense to you? Because I feel like the pattern is missing something.” Really, if I could just get the pattern to clearly state how many stitches I want at the end of all of these decreases, I’d be able to figure it out. Am I decreasing across the cable? Just across the sleeve? Are you trying to get me to do a centered double decrease, or should this blend in with the seed stitch? I just don’t know!

And of course, Vivian lies there scarlet and beautiful and warm and still unwearable. Oh my darling sweater, I know you’ll be done before the first snow hits…but I hate the idea of needing to rip you back just to make that happen.

Sigh.

I just don’t get why this is where I always get lost with Ysolda’s patterns. She designs some of the most beautiful sweaters I’ve ever seen…but her arm attachment just baffles me. I don’t know what quirk it is, what it is that I’m not getting that everyone else seems to understand. But for some reason, I can never fully comprehend at this point in the pattern how she wants me to get from point A to point D.

So right now, I’m going to just take this off the needles, rip back the 7 or 8 rows that I completed on Saturday at knitting, pop it back on the needles, and pray to all the Rulers of Knitting that when I pick it up again, I’ll understand what I’m supposed to do with the decreases and why I should do them that way.

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